I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Enjoy the penises
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
