I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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