Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
