At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
