she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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