He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
