I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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