hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sex in the backyard? Check.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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