I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
