no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
