I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
