nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
