I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
