I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
