just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
