no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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