yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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