addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize