hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
