McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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