names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
