after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize