spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
