he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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