i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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