Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
