I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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