His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
