i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
