Christians are straight up FREAKS
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
