best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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