she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I think I just sharted jello shots
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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