I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
