you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
