plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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