His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
