You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You need a sexual gate keeper
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
