Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i've created a new STD.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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