i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Someone shit on the floor
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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