i would punch a child for taco bell
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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