your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
