Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize