I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
