hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
