she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
