last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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