Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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