Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
