no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
