Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
