Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
