you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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