i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Dicks are not precious.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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