Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
