Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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