a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
His hands were made for my vagina.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
