dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
