we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
