Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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