People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
