normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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