Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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